eating disorder.

i think i'm having eating disorder. i did not eat my proper meals this few days. even skipped them. why ohh? its not that i'm being picky over food but i really dont have mood to eat what have been served in dorm. not even touching my snacks. gosh, if this is going to continue, i'll be in a BIG TROUBLE! haha. exaggerating. just i'm wondering why?

okaaaaay, the bestest *does this word exist?* news everrr! I make it to the final! For the SMSA IDOL! ahaha. i should practiced my song by now. i want to say thank you to my sister who trained me, to SieYing and Feeqa too, for helping me with my vocal and my songs.. gahh, this won't happen without you guys. And also, Deejaaaah who continuously support me. I won't get this far if you didn't make me to. Thanks kawan-kawan. Saya sayaaaaang kaaaaamuu.

thats it! wait for my stage presence this Thursday, 26/11. My perfomance was the 3rd one. ahaha. that's all i can say. the rest is you go see for yourself!

ciao baaaaaby! =D

nerves breakdown.

hello peoples.
okaaay, yeah I'll be having my SMSA IDOL '09 audition in 9hours. I am freaking nervous. I don't know why. Its not that I'm scared that I won't make it through the final but yeaaah, I said to this one person if I cannot make it through my final, I'll sing to him. Like why on earth I said that? Kan becakap pun payah-payah, ani lagi kan nyanyi. Oh! I hope he forgot about that. aaand, i miss you. like really. haha. i thought i want to share this news with you but nevermind, maybe you got some reasons why you cannot go online. Furthermore, I need your luck. okaaay. cut that one. <33333

Last Saturday was the day we got our report cards signed. Though, I'm not fully satisfied with my results but there is space to work harder and get better next time. After all, I improved my Business marks. That's paid off the last minute revision. Luckily, I was not retained in the PRE-U1s but sadly, my partner-in-crime; Deejah cannot make it. JAAAAH, i seriously hoped that you'll get promoted! Thinking my days in Business and Economics without Deejah is gloomy. I want her! yoh macam lain bunyinyaa.

Holiday gonna come soon. i start to miss everyone already. my besties, him, partners in crime kuu. sigh. next year is another year with an adventure and challenge. I've gotta to work harder and "STRIVE TOWARDS THE EXCELLENCE". haha. but before that, i wanna say thank you for those who had made my 2009 is a year to remember.Especially;

1.my besties, Nabb, Feeqa, Saliha.. thanks for being there when I need you guys. Thanks for everything. I am so sorry if aku ada tersalah cakap or ada percakapan ku atu menyinggung perasaan kamu or some of ulah aku atuu, inda bisai di mata kamu and buat kamu sasak arah akuu, i am so sorry. maklum, i am just a human who can't avoid doing mistakes. and if kamu rasa ada ulah ku atuu inda bisai, cubatah cakap sajaa. i won't take it to heart. at least i try to improve it and inda jua aku menyinggung perasaan kamu. last but not least, aku sayaaaaaaaaaang kaaaaaamuu. hehehe. no words can expressed how much i appreciates your's presence next to me. cheers! XP

2. HIM.. well, i 'm not sure you're still reading this blog of mine but yeah.. thanks! you made me life so wonderful. no further comments.

3. partners-in-crime..deejaaaah, no matter what, aku masih mau kau promoted to U2. i dont care if i have to beg our Principal *desperate* as long i still got partner time Business and Economics. Partner ku time boring-boring and the one yang selalu nudge aku if aku tertidur. aww~ i'm gonna miss that! seriously, i'm gonna miss you waaaa!

sigh. i'm still nervous though i know the fact i don't have to sing infront of the peoples yang participate but still. no matter what, i'm going to make the best tomorrow. oh no, i mean later. ahaha. jeez. i'm still nervous. aiyohh~~

sign out!

what else.

BAM! Mun here. Time to spaazz, baaaaby! Okaaayy, first thing first as you guys can see below.. its me with my "SMSA IDOL '09" form. Been deciding whether to join or not since I got this form. You can even see, the form is still not filled in yet. Because of continuous support from my friends especially si Deejah... yes, baaabe I decided to join. Anyone is looking forward for me? HAHA. I'll consider this as a practice for my bigger stage presence that i've been planning with my cousins. nyehehe. uii kaaamuuu.. jadi ka?

second thang, I've been watching the SBS drama You're Beautiful. I've been watching this since yesterday and gaaaddd, this movie was so thumbs up! inda nyasal ku tunggu batah-batah ia loading. plus, in this drama.. lots of pretty guys waaa. see the piccas below.

Jang Geun Seuk
acted as Hwang Tae Kyung in You're Beautiful. the main vocalist and guitarist of A.N.JELL. Dislikes Go Mi Nam for some reasons. Have a ghotic-emo style. Mysterious personality and a clean freak. Sometimes I think I was looking at Hong Ki or G-Dragon. Maybe pasal stylenyaa.

Park Shin Hye
Jemma. Have a fraternal twin, Go Mi Nam. She's supposed to be a Sister/Nun but under some circumstances, Jemma had to be Go Mi Nam and by doing so, she have to be a GUY. the second vocalist in A.N.JELL. Yes, a guy. Aku jealous sama iaaa. HAHA.

Jeong Yong Hwa
acted as Shin Woo. A cool guy and so gentleman. The guitarist of A.N.JELL. He's so sweet. I think I'm going to fall for him. Very sweet. So calming. HAHA. I wish I can have a guy like him. *kiraikirai*. no worries A, you still got the first place in my heart. HAHA apaaakaaaaan.

Lee Hong Ki
Jeremy. A British-Korean aristocrat. The drummer for A.N.JELL. He's being dorky in this drama and like to tease Jemma/Go Mi Nam. Have a dog named Angelina Jolie. HAHA. How cool is that? HAHA. Cute personality here. HAHA. SUKA KUU EHHH!!

TADAA!!! The A.N.JELL! Wish A.N.JELL really does exist. But, if they do, doesn't that mean Hong Ki got double work? Inda payaaaah taaah ehh.. Just be fictitious A.N.JELL. Karangg Hong Ki inda concentrate with FT Island. ahaha. wth? Btw, Park Shin Hye looks like Yoon Eun Hye kaan with the short hair? HAHA.

Baaaaah.. I'm off. I wanna continue watching You're Beautiful. Aaa~~ Shin Woo.. kau sama akuuu sajaa waaa. HAHA apakaaaaan. Baaaah, ciao!
VOTE FOR ME FOR THE SMSA IDOL '09. HAHA.
Bye peeps!

so stuck up.

hi.
i don't know whether i should said it here but heck, I've nowhere to say or to express my feelings to. I just get pretty upset now and you're saying that. Its not that I'm becoming sensitive but, I got feelings to so yeah, sometimes I get offended too. Though it was meant to be a joke but sigh, nobody is perfect. I can't help myself to not being upset. I'm not blaming just its not the right timing. I did said i get over with something but that doesn't meant I'm totally over with it yet. Right.. like you know.

Sometimes I can't understand myself. Why am I so...??? erghh, easy said.. stupid or sensitive. I got upset pretty easily but not on dumb things, you know like.. like you even care about it. I don't understand my feelings, don't even understand why I even exist if my life was to be like this? Not complaining, just wondering. Sometimes I feel so shit. And no one don't even know that. Because I put a smile on my face. Its easy. Just stretch the muscle there and no one knows you're suffering. I've suffered enough, more than anyone does. Well, I'm not comparing myself to those peoples in Africa or so, I mean.. if you get what I mean.

And on top of that, I still cannot resist him. Oh why?

2PM's heartbeat.

I was browsing videos at YouTube when I saw 2PM's new MV; Heartbeat. the song was so... nice! You can feelthere is an outflow of sadness from it. Maybe,2PM really wants JaeBeom to come back. Dear JYP, please make a right decision by bringing JaeBeom back to 2PM and to us. Like, pretty please?

Enjoy ;D

"listen to my heartbeat is waiting for you - 2PM"

this and that.

hey peoples. I'm back. Miss me enough? HAHA. I know right. I miss you guys too. Yesterday, the school reopened after 3 days of marking days and heck I received all my papers except for GP. Teacher Ummi only gave us paper 1. I must say, some of the papers disappoint me though I did revise. Well, i guess I should have done much better. But, as much as I hate to admit I hate my Business mark, I extremely happy with the progress I had done. Even my tutor said I've done a good work. You know from 9/40 in progress test, in EOY I managed to get 21/40. My marks increased drastically. I guess that's why my tutor satisfied with my result. Munirah, 힘내!!

Well, well... I shouldn't have say this but I think SHINee's Key is mouth-watering in Ring Ding Dong. HAHA. Fangirlism released. I've been watching their old shows including them making some parody and gahh, Key you never failed to make me laughed. I still think SHINee's In My Room, Romantic and Love Should Go On were the best songs that can comfort me. And songs that can put me to sleep. HAHA.

Chatted with A last night. Hey, seriously I got panda eyes now. eh, next time I got my phone with me, I'll call you, seriously being serious. But, after ko pick up aku tarus hung up pulaaang. HAHAH. apakaaan tuuu? buang credit sajaaa. oh btw, the one I mentioned to you about that person, just forget it. Manatau me and my friends salah. After all, I already get over with it. Lupakaaan saja okaaaaay?

Hmm, what more? I think I gained weight. Or did I lost 'em? Last time I checked was 43.3 kg? Maybe I lost them. Because during the 3 days stay at home, I skipped meals for 2 days. Ironically, I didn't feel hungry. Eishh, this is a bad habit I know. Sister did even told me its not healthy. Gahh, I'm afraid later I'll be anorexic. hahs. Can imagine me as an anorexic girl? Mommy, I don't want because i'm skinny enough. HAHA.

Ba ba baby baby.. I'm signing out. Will update if I'm bored + rajin. ahaha. A, saranghae. wait, i've said how many times now? *look at the last post* Gee. SORRY! HAHA.

Time To Love Listen

Don't leave, please come back again
I can't send you off like this
Never say goodbye
You won't make me cry
I wait for you alone

I remember the way you looked at me
And I realize that I was stupid to let you go
I already took out cupid's white arrow in my heart
I'm such an idiot
I should've just swallowed my useless pride
I cut you off with stupid, meaningless words

You're leaving like this
How will I survive day by day
Break-ups are still unusual for me
Finally, my lips can't take it and call your name
Foolish me, I still can't let go of the alcohol
It's so hard on me
If you're the same way, come back
Please hold on to me

Don't leave, please come back again
I can't send you off like this
Never say goodbye
You won't make me cry
I wait for you alone

You act like bad boy but, you're an angel to me
You only are MA b-a-b-y, but heartbreaking tragedy we cry
I just stare at the phone all day
I hope the heavens realize my heart
I still stumble before seperation
Want you back, it's time to love

You're leaving like this
How will I survive day by day
Break-ups are still unusual for me
Finally, my lips can't take it and call your name
Foolish me, I still can't let go of the alcohol
It's so hard on me
If you're the same way, come back
Please hold on to me

Don't leave, please come back again
I can't send you off like this
Never say goodbye
You won't make me cry
I wait for you alone

Uh uh uh yo, it's like a sun and mood hide and seek
You can't catch it, no matter how hard you try
Time just seperates us even more, more
Yo, it's like a sun and mood hide and seek
You can't catch it, no matter how hard you try
Time just seperates us even more, more
We'll miss each other like this..

In the end, I can't let you go like this
Where are you, I'm still here
Come back

Even though I love you,
I can't love you
Even thought I hate you,
I can't erase you
The only things left me to are tears
I can't live without your love

I can't erase you yet, only tears for me
Without you, I just can't live

Don't leave, please come back again
I can't send you off like this
Never say goodbye
You won't make me cry
I wait for you alone


I can't send you off just yet
Good bye, make me cry

I wait for you alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this song is beautiful.
A, saranghae <3

define love.

haaai everyone :D
first thing, i wanted to say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SALIHA! sorry, lambat ku greet kau di sini. you're 18 and is legal to watch x-rated movies with feeqa. but on 31/10, kamu dua mesti bawa akuuu liat sama-sama! nyehahahaha. omg, i sounds like a pervert. XPP

i can't define my feelings now. if i could make an equation from it, i would. i feel theres is an outflow of loveness to him. and i cannot stop it. boy, in case you read this, its okay if you ignored me as long as i can see your smile from far. it is enough for me. you dont have to say sorry for ignoring me cause i know. i'll remain unnoticed if you want to. *emo mode switched off*

i havent had my shower yet pasal theres no water supply at the hostel! jgmkupwgmjgmdwjdz!! i hate this! :0

i missed my family. i've been in hostel for 1week and 3 days. this is due to exam. see, i sacrificed for you exam. i should have be at Lambak now and be with my cuzzies to recite tahlil for my grandma who just passed away yesterday. i feel bad for not going there. =.="

signing off! :DD
p/s: imy boy <3 *tutup mua&&larilari* haha sekalur!

hey, you said you miss me :D

hey! i just come back from the blue moon so let me say haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiii! long enough? nyeh. okay first thing first. you readers miss me riiigghhttt??*pigang pistol* say you miss me and you're going to be safe and sound. good! i know that. gee. sorry for not updating. aku MALAS + BUSY. exam is in the corner and i shouldn't have been here. so far, I just sat for my GP paper. emmm, its a fair paper for me. not too hard not too easy. what do you guys think?

ohhh. since my other friends have been complaining that there are silent readers reading their blog, i think i'm gonna do the same. hey readers, don't be silent. did you know why i put cbox here?*point at cbox* its for you to shout out peoples. bukan sekadar hiasan. esehh. but, really. i dont need you to say, "hey nice post there!" or "your blog is amazing!". because i know that's lying. you can just simply say "VISITED!" easy kaaaaaan? so then i know who you are? inda payah tah stalk blog ku aneyy, not worth it. so be visible, okaaaay? ^________^ see, i'm cool. hahas.

kaaaamuuuu. he is a magnet. i keep on attracted to him though i tried to repel. hehs apakaaaan. okay, this feeling i'll keep it to me. i won't show it to him, i won't express it to him because i know who am i. eventhough i kept saying aku suka kau like lots and aku sayang kau macam aku sayang Yunho. ohh okay. bad similies. try another one. aku sayang kau macam aku sayang chocolates, i'll remain silent so you dont have to feel suffocated. pasal kau atu famous. right right. shake it off!

wei, fingers ku tercramp so i'll stop now. oh btw, if i got plenty of times, i'll try to upload pics time raya and some random stuffs.

annyeong ae-bi-ri-wan!!
oh PRE-U1s, good luck for your exam!
:DDD

its not going to be the same.

hello earthlings.
first thing I want to say is to my bestfriend, Salihah
Condolences from me&my family to you&your's family for the lost of your father. be strong Sal. i know no matter how much we wanted you to be patient and be strong, the truth is no one can really understand it. moreover, losing someone that close to you, someone that took care of you, someone who didn't let you down and someone who will never hurt you or let others to hurt you is unbearable. Allahyarham Uncle Haji Othman was a very good man with a tender heart. though, I've met him few times but he is a very nice man. When I heard this, all I want to do was to call Salihah and lean a shoulder for her to cry on. all I wanted to do now is to stay by her side. I just messaged her and she said she's a little fine. she only cant stop from shedding tears. at this moment, I really want to meet her and hug her. i know what you feel, Sal and me too, i cried. Its just so sudden. Anyways, God loves Allahyarham more. Mudahan rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman. AMIN. AL-FATIHAH. *heads down*

this time, all i wanted to have is a true friendship and i glad that i have my bestfriends by my side. you know who you are, bffs. I can live my life without a person named boyfriend but i could've never imagined how misery i am without my bffs. You guys are the sun that shines my day with laughters, showered the day with unlimited happiness. thanks for being there and be with me through our ups and downs. i totally love youu namely ;Feeqa, Nabilah, Salihah, Esaaah, Mariaah, SieYing. thanks kamukamuuu. do come to me when you dont know who else you can you turn to.

Peoples, appreciate the people who stands beside you. Dont take their feelings and trusts for granted. Once you've lost it, it will never come back and its not going to be the same.

Bye.